I may not post something I’m thankful for on Facebook every day in November, but I am grateful for my life. I’m blessed, I really am. I have a lovely roof over my head, a fantastic couch (more on that later!), a job that keeps me supplied in books, friendships that are both deep and frivolous, a family that has my back, and a bounty of gifts that are too great to enumerate. So just so you know, I know that the following list is somewhat petty in contrast to all of this. But I find these things disturbing, nevertheless. And since I’m blogging every single day this month, I’m going to share them with you.
1. Menu changes. There are a few things in life that I would like to think you can depend on, besides taxes and death. Like the BBQ chicken salad at Panera. And the Monterrey omelet at Mimi’s. But then menus change and my favorite item is nowhere to be found, leaving me to feel like I was in an unpopular minority. Can’t we take the feta cheese items of the world off the menu first, guys?
2. Issues of height. I think I’m taller than I actually am. I don’t know why. I know in my head that I am short. But I never think I’m THAT short compared to people around me. Until I see pictures of myself with other people. Or stand next to them in front of a mirror. I walk away from these situations oddly demoralized. It’s like those tiny, yappy dogs that think they can take the Great Dane. But the sad truth is that they cannot. And no matter how tall my high heels are, those items in the top cabinet will constantly out of reach.
3. Trader Joe’s teasing. Supposedly Trader Joe’s is coming to Colorado. Every time I see a local news article about it, the timeline shifts out. And how the heck does Fort Collins get put on the list about Colorado Springs? #sigh HURRY UP, TRADER JOE.
4. Air freshener atrocities. If air fresheners were true to their name, they would make the air fresh. Instead, approximately 97%…it’s scientific, don’t you worry about it…spray a ghastly awful scent that reminds me of old perfume and musty leaves. Not okay, air freshener. Not okay.
5. Math is hard.