Funny things from the interwebs

What’s funnier than bad analogies written by high schoolers? Nothing you say? I quite agree. Every time I read these little suckers, I laugh my face off. Some of my favorites:

#3: Her face was a perfect oval, like a circle that had its two sides gently compressed by a Thigh Master.

#5: John and Mary had never met. They were like two hummingbirds who had also never met.

#8: He was as lame as a duck. Not the metaphorical lame duck, either, but a real duck who was actually lame. Maybe from stepping on a landmine or something.

You can find the whole list here. You’re welcome.

Oh, the hipster. So funny without even trying. I just can’t help but return to these jokes time and time again for entertainment. Sigh. A few to tickle your funny bone:

Q: What happens when a Hipster falls?
A: They Tumblr

***

Q: How much does a hipster weigh?
A: An instagram.

***

Q: How do you drown a hipster?
A: In the mainstream. 

Find more jokes (as well as a hipster translator) here

This is for you folks that love that show-of-memory-past, 24, and poses the question: What if Jack Bauer was your pastor? In the link at the bottom which goes to the original source, please note that the comments responding the post can be funnier than the post itself. Here’s a few to give you an idea:

  • Every counseling session would end with a confession, because Pastor Jack can pull a confession out of anybody. Even if you didn’t do it.
  • Scripture references in sermons would be called “backup”.
  • At least three times a week Jack would be misunderstood by his congregation and have to go “dark” until he could clear his name.

Find the full list AND all the hilarious comment contributions here

Happy Thursday, everyone!

 

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