Results Show – Topsy Turvy Upside Down

Can I just say that I really hate that phrase “Expect the Unexpected”? Not really because it’s usually an ominous sign that something I won’t like is going to happen (although that’s almost always true), but mostly because it’s stupid.

Think about it – if someone tells you to expect the unexpected, then you’re expecting something random to happen, thus alleviating the surprise and shock from that moment. Therefore, it’s no longer unexpected. This is now a catch phrase for most reality TV shows, so it’s getting old is alls I’m sayin’.

Ryan was looking more dapper than usual last night and Randy was rocking some blue suede shoes, so there’s that.

But most exciting is that James Durbin is back! Oh, the Durbs. It’s been so long. And there are questions! Burning questions. Like, will the tail still exist or will weeks on tour have cured that? Will there be something on fire in this performance? And how much Durbin screaming, exactly, will this song contain? Can’t you just feel the anticipation?

Top 7 Perform Pink’s “Raise Your Glass”

I’m sorry, but can anything top Glee’s performance of this song?

The Idol contestants did a good job with the song, but it felt like it lacked a little energy and was somewhat disjointed. Still, better than a lot of group performances done on that stage in the past!

The Couch

This new-ish addition to the results show is one-part Idol, one-part talk show…and it feels a little odd. It’s like “Everything is going to be so dramatic and you’re going to hear results, and expect the unexpected, and dim the lights… oh wait. Let’s take 15 minutes and just catch up. On national television.”

In a further plug for Twitter to take over the world: Kellie Pickler, Jazmine Sullivan,  and Skyler Grey all gave positive tweets about the Idol contestants that performed their songs. And also, can I just say that I’ve never heard the name “Skylar” more than in this season of American Idol? We’ve got Skylar Laine, Skylar Dixon (Colton’s sister), and Skyler Grey so far. Let’s see if they can continue to add to the list…

While I definitely feel that this section of the show is completely unnecessary, I do admit to being entertained by the invitations that the contestants got from fans.

Colton got invited to prom with a unique box containing what looked like a construction paper booklet with the top 10 reasons why he should go. I thought this was the most authentic I’ve ever seen Colton and I hope he actually does go to this chick’s prom. 🙂

Hollie to sweet young Tate’s spring formal. And we were treated to a picture of Tate. And while I’m rooting for most fans, anyone that sends their picture along with something like this seems a bit arrogant…or someone that misses social cues. So, I think if I were Hollie, I’d steer clear of Tate.

Since Elise is way too old for a prom invite, she got hand crafted feather pieces from a very lucky and now (I’m sure) rich jewelry designer. Now that SteTy has worn her feather hair extension piece, I think the sky is the limit for this chick on Etsy.

I can’t help but feel that there will be some counseling sessions for the rest of the contestants tonight (Why am I not pretty? Why did only Colton and Hollie get invited to a dance?). But since this is supposed to be a RESULTS show, I was just fine that they kept moving along.

Hollie and Jessica’s Results

Hollie according to Jimmy: “She needs to ditch some old habits…she’s coming across stiff and calculated.”

Jessica according to Jimmy: “She should keep her current trajectory, she’s effortless on stage.”

And Ryan plays his favorite game of musical contestants and places Hollie on one side of the stage and Jessica on the other.

James Durbin Performs “Higher than Heaven”

When James walked on stage it made me smile and remember last season of American Idol where I cared a lot more about the outcome. And then, of course, it made me think of Casey and how much I miss that little leprechan’s antics. And then a quick search on his Facebook page uncovered this gem:

Have I mentioned that I can’t wait for his CD to come out? No word on it yet, but you’ll know as soon as I do.

Ahem. But we’re talking about James’ performance. A BLONDE James’ performance, to be exact.

And we got a few answers to our questions:

  • The tail is still in tact
  • No fire, but lots and lots of lights shining in our eyes. And that’s kind of like fire. But different.
  • Yes with the screaming, but one time wasn’t so great…his voice cracked or something.

That band was clearly the rockingest band ever. They were all so into their part of it!

I spent a little bit of time trying to figure out how James was creating that sound with this voice. I wasn’t sure if it was distortion routed through one of the amps? Or maybe it was a noble use of auto-tune? In any case, it sounded dope. And fly. Fo’ shizzle. (Okay, I’m done now.)

Ryan and James’ reunion after his performance was fun. Loved hearing about his wedding and Stefano as his best man and Casey as…THAT guy who was late because he wouldn’t ask for direction. Oh, the old gang! Wish I had been invited.

Phillip and Elise’s Results

Okay, what Jimmy said here kind of blew my mind, so I’m including most of it.

Phillip and Elise according to Jimmy: With Phillip and Elise, you have two singer-songwriters types and those people are usually character singers…not technical singers. They don’t have a huge range but they have soul. But lyrics are the other part (singer/SONGWRITER) and when we are missing the original songs, what you have is Phillip who is influenced by Dave Matthews and his performance sounds like Dave Matthews singing a Maroon 5 song. Elise did a better job, but has the same problem.

So true, right?? My respect for Jimmy grows a little every week.

And Phillip and Elise are separated to opposite ends of the stage; Phillip joins Hollie and Elise joins Jessica.

Jennifer Hudson (with Ne-Yo) Performs “Think Like a Man”

Well, I think this is the first time I’ve seen her do the whole “front-dancer” thing. And I gotta be honest, it doesn’t look entirely natural. And even though I don’t think I’ve ever heard Jennifer Hudson sing a sour note, this song was disappointing because it was mostly the title. Sung over and over and over again.

Colton and Joshua’s Results

Colton according to Jimmy: He didn’t have a s BIG of a performance as Joshua, but that’s okay because what he needed was a poignant moment.

Joshua according to Jimmy: Joshua nailed it. He came with a contemporary record and it was natural/flawless.

I would have been fine with all of this, but then Ryan and Colton talked for FOREVER about how Colton really wants the judges to give him a standing ovation. And while I get his point because most of the standing ovations have been ridiculously undeserved and he’s actually had some fantastic performances, I’m kind of tired of Colton’s vibe of arrogance. He needs to get over himself already. I think he could take a page out of the Phillip Phillips book and just let the music come first.

So now Joshua joins Jessica and Elise; Colton joins Hollie and Phillip (see, it doesn’t have to be one or the other!)

Skylar’s Results

Skylar according to Jimmy: She could get left behind but I hope she won’t. She’s a pro, she’s got the whole package, but she’s subtle. And sometimes subtle gets overlooked.

Jimmy’s predictions: Phillip, Hollie, and Elise will be  in the bottom three. Au contraire, Jimmy. You forget that “America” is not to be trusted to make sane and logical decisions. 🙂

Skylar is safe and she refuses to pick a group, knowing that whatever group she chooses will let everyone know what she REALLY thinks about her fellow contestants.

The Final Results (and the Save)

And it turns out that the trio of Joshua, Elise, and Jessica are the bottom three. I don’t think any of them should have been in the bottom talent-wise. But the most shocking was Jessica since this is her first time there.

And as the judges reacted, Randy played his “I’ve been here the longest and I’ve never seen this before” chip and Steven all but guaranteed that they would use the save, with this kind of an outcome.

And things got weirder when Joshua and Elise were sent to safety and the realization that Jessica had the least amount of votes settled into the stunned silence. Let me just say right up front that there’s no way that Jessica deserved to leave last night and I absolutely think that the judges using their save was the right call.

BUT.

The judges are ridiculous. And their forced antics are starting to wear thin. I was extremely annoyed when Jennifer snatched the microphone from Jessica and all the judges took the stage. I think they were trying to create a big MOMENT like last year, but it came across as cheesy, staged, and not authentic at all. The thing that was so great about last year was that it was a natural response. Sure, it made me scared that Casey would have a heart attack right on stage. But it also made me cry. Genuine emotion will do that! Stop trying to manipulate things, judges. Sigh.

With Jessica, I think the thing that happened was that people thought she was so fantastic that she’d be automatically safe and so they stopped voting. I doubt she’ll be in danger next week. And just in case you don’t know, she’s been working hard her “whole life”.

Just for the record, there will never be a better save than Casey’s.

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