You might be a marketer if…

…you’re constantly coming up with great marketing plans for products that you have no actual tie to.

It’s kind of embarrassing, actually. Because once you think of the idea, there’s NO WAY that you can keep it to yourself (also a pitfall of being a marketer), so when you share it with your friends or co-workers there’s this moment of silence in which you realize that you’ve revealed that you spent a half hour or hour of you life coming up with something that is pretty much pointless and the other person thinks you’re crazy.

I mean, it’s one thing if I can make my idea shift in a way to actually use it to market my books. But sometimes, as in the examples below, it’s a futile mental exercise that benefits no one and kind of drives me crazy until I can figure it all out.

This week, I’ve had some brilliant marketing ideas. I’ll share two of them if you promise not to make a million dollars off of them. I watch THE GOOD WIFE, so don’t test your legal boundaries, mkay? 🙂

1. Facecook.com. Like Facebook, but a social media outlet for people who want to cook their faces off! They could share recipes (like Pinterest), have forums to ask questions (how do I cook this at a high altitude?), webinars, etc. Prime ad space for places like Cooking Light and The Food Network, eh?

I suppose it also works on an alternate level…meaning, it could be that your concoctions blow up in your face, thereby ruining it and completing the “face cook” idea. I’m going to hope for the first for you because that’s the kind of positive person I am.

2. Tupperware commercial to the tune of “Single Ladies” by Beyoncé. Sing it with me “If you like it, then you should have put a lid on it…” I can envision a commercial. The husband leaves a piece of cake on the counter on a plate without a cover. The wife brings it into him hours later and it’s all shriveled and dried and generally unappealing. And then she sings (with choreography and back-up dancers, of course) the revised version of the song. Maybe it’s even Beyoncé scolding both husband AND wife.

So, there you have it. The inner workings of a marketing mind…we’ve only scratched the surface, folks. Now, if only I could come up with a sure-fire marketing plan that never failed to get a book on the New York Times bestselling list! Then I’d have it made. Until then, I’ll put a lid on it. 🙂

P.S. Spell check just corrected my spelling of “Beyoncé”. How weird is the world we live in??

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