Talked with my mom (huge Haley fan who happens to be on East Coast time) last night and we commiserated and spoke at length, in rising indignant tones, about the injustices Haley faced last night. As we ended the conversation, I left her with one final charge. “Mom,” I said, “If Haley’s the one who goes home tonight, can you text me? I’ll need some time to tone down my rage before actually watching the show.” My mother, used to my dramatic nature, kindly agreed. As of almost 10 PM MST last night, I had not received a text. Hence and therefore, I presumed she was not leaving. And that means there are only three other options. My math prowess is just stunning, isn’t it?
Ryan opened the show looking poised and regal with a starry, starry night backdrop behind him. As he slowly walked to his new mark, it became clear that the Idols were supposed to move to a different place on stage. I’m not sure that was really executed well. I’m just sayin’. Ryan also gave us the run-down of who was on tonight’s show.
1. Enrique Iglesias. Is that guy still alive?
2. Lady Gaga. Well, that should be interesting and most probably inappropriate.
3. Jordin Sparks. Yay! I like her.
But most of all I was excited to see Casey back in the audience being his affable self. He’s no Enrique Iglesias. THANK GOODNESS.
I’m not sure who was behind the montage/trailer combination business but I really liked it! I didn’t feel as though I was strictly watching back everything I had seen 24 hours earlier and it felt nice and concise. Just like I like it. They should have adopted this years ago.
Scotty and James Perform “Start a Band”
Scotty started the song out surrounded by various audience folk. But before the camera could cut from Scotty to James, some small child took a flying leap onto the judges’ platform. Did you guys see that? I’m not making this stuff up. And while the guys were doing a good job, as far as I could tell, I was completely distracted by the ankle-biters holding instruments that were circled around the judges platform. Where did these wee ones come from?
I clicked back into the performance, just in time to see Scotty and James hit the stage and grab their instrument of choice. Scotty’s was, of course, a good ‘ole acoustic guitar while James, as you might expect, was holding a black and white swirled electric guitar with a (wait for it) racoon-like tail attached. Oh, James. You really crack me up.
“Gunpowder and Lead” by Haley and Lauren
Boy, did Haley looks FANTASTIC and she sound phenomenal. Vocally, both girls are such powerhouses, so it was nice to see them paired together again. There was a little bit of fun, flair, and a brief segment featuring Lauren and Haley’s hairography. Nicely done, girls.
In which I gripe about American Idol having another product to sponsor. (Yes, again.)
Windows 7?!? Really? After Bing last week? I mean, it’s good that they got to talk with their families and everything, but hasn’t Skype been doing this whole video phone thing for a while now? And the fact that we got to watch their conversations was cute and all…but how much can you really say to your family (after months away from them) with a camera man in the same room? C’mon, people. Give these folks their privacy! It’s not like “America” doesn’t already take a piece of it.
Results Round 1
The stools on the side of the stage made a magical transformation from silver (bad) to gold (good).
And just like that, Lauren Alaina is in the top three! It was at this point that I knew James was a goner. I can’t explain it, really, because I was darn certain that he’d be in the finals. But the sick feeling in my stomach told me a different story.
The Top 4 Get in the Gaga Spirit
Oh, so a “performance” by Gaga means watching a video of her performing “You and I” at a concert. Got it. You’d have thought that American Idol would have more pull to get her live since she was the mentor for the week. Ah, well. Alls fair in love and…Gagaville.
At first I thought she looked shockingly normal but then…I saw what she was wearing. Or rather, what she WASN’T wearing. And the piano was wicked awesome–would have been amazing if paired with Crystal Bowersox’s mic stand. But then it became not as cool as a backdrop to her weirdness…crouching on the bench and then standing on the bench completely bent over playing the piano. Then there was the matter of the shirtless guitarist. Oookay. I wonder if these people think they are too good for clothes? What would be hilarious is if Lady Gaga did a fashion line. Ha! That just made me chuckle on the inside.
Dirty Dancer (and I Like It) by Enrique Iglesias
Man, this guy doesn’t age. And saying that he sang would probably be a generous description of tonight’s “performance”. A few things:
1. Was his microphone loud enough? I couldn’t really hear him.
2. I wonder why he looked so sad? Or maybe worried?
3. Maybe he has a memory problem and can only remember one line of lyrics a at a time?
4. What did the balloons have to do with anything?
Ford Music Video
I love this song! They seem to be really into artistic expression in these videos, don’t they? Just an observation. Also, raise your hand if you’ve ever gone to AmericanIdol.com to see a Ford video. Anyone? Anyone? Okay, then.
Jordin Sparks Performs “I am Woman”
What. The. Heck. Happened. To. Jordin. Sparks?
It really is a Lady Gaga world isn’t it? She used to be sweet and fun and pop-y. I couldn’t even take my eyes off the performance. It seemed like she struggled to get the trench coat off to reveal her Rockette-style dress, but she made up for that in whipping the jacket firmly to the floor once she managed to disentangle her arms.
She really committed to the performance, I’ll give her that. But as a Jordin fan, I was left really confused.
”Being powerful is like being a lady. If you have to tell people you are, you aren’t.” ~ Margaret Thatcher
I wonder if it’s the same with the word “woman”?
SteTy’s Music Video “(It) Feels So Good”
Point of order. Why is that the “people who title songs sometimes feel the need to include some of the title in parenthesis? Either the words in the title are important or they aren’t. Let’s get that ambiguity outta here!
Is it weird that SteTy reminds me of Johnny Depp? Musically, SteTy’s still got it. I’ve never seen so much movement/animation from him as the video came to a close and he jumped up from his seat to take a turn around his chair.
Results Round 2
And Haley Reinhart is in! Take THAT, Randy.
The two guys stood side by side and the difference in their body language was palpable. Scotty seemed calm, cool, collected and ready to accept his fate while James looked petrified as he teared up.
And my stomach, dratted predictor that it is, was proven right. James was given the boot (thanks a LOT, “America”) while Scotty took a seat on his golden stool. I was sad. I was more surprised at this than Casey’s departure night. And I’m going to miss James’ shenanigans, though luckily not for long.
If only I could end it there. But…
James kind of deteriorated into a sniffling mess. I suppose he can take comfort in the fact that he wasn’t alone. J.Lo was right there with him. Honest-to-goodness (even though I loved him and wanted him to win), I think James got a little full of himself there towards the end. He started to go off on how he’s done so many things on the show that no one else had ever done, etc. etc. It was just not as classy of an exit was I was hoping for.
I do NOT know for the LIFE of me why he chose his exit song. This, the song that made him have is now-infamous parking lot breakdown? You’re going to sing it when you’re emotional about leaving the show, too? Now, James. That’s just not even logical. It doesn’t touch logical with a ten-foot pole! Keeping it real, it got a little awful there for a second. But at the end of the day, he’ll be back on stage in one short week. So, all in all, I’m glad he stayed as long as he did.
For the record (since I know someone out there is keeping some sort of record), I’m now a Haley fan. I know it took me longer than some to jump on her bandwagon, but I think she deserves to win. She’s definitely the most innovative contestant left. But I wonder if “America” might do her a favor to pick someone else to win the whole shebang. Then she wouldn’t be locked into an American Idol contract and could have a little more freedom in what album she does. Anyhoo.
It’s almost all over! Can you believe it? That just makes me super excited for SYTYCD. Who’s with me?