The Results Are In!

Da da. Da da. Dadadadadada…and the night came. I am actually not dreading these results shows so far. “America” (aka the sane online voters) is keeping the results where they should be. So far, nothing has been hurled at my TV screen. I almost don’t know what to do with myself! Ahem. But I’m getting ahead of myself. Let us break down the results show in the style to which you are accustomed. ūüôā

Group Performance 

I think this season’s group performances are going to break the tradition of me “watching them” by alternatively covering my eyes and my ears. This one started off with a bang. The solo parts were perfectly chosen with Scotty and his deep voice rockin’ the first line of the medley, Paul adding a unique twist, and¬†James¬†kicking it up a notch¬†Emeril-style. Now, was it really necessary for Jacob to continually grab his crotch area? No. But all in all a perfectly acceptable group performance! I’m not sure if these kids are better dancers or if the choreographers have finally become realisitic about this Idol contestants true capabilities, but the result is quite nice. Not as stiff.

Let me just interject here that I’m SHOCKED! Shocked, I say, that not everyone agrees with my assessment of the standings thus far. My mom and sister are singing Haley’s praises, my Dad and friend Sharon have jumped on the Pia bandwagon, and I even have a VERY crazy friend that is a¬†JACOB fan. I know. I was just as appalled. I will take it as my own personal challenge to change your opinions to be closer to my own. Ahem.

I see that Ry-Ry has seen fit to continue using the teensy tiny table to “help” him deliver results. I am sill flabbergasted that a furniture maker would even make a table that small.

Ryan strategically worked in the 250,000,000 downloads over 10 years¬†stat into his opening monologue and I couldn’t help but think that not many¬†of that staggering number came from last year. I’m not hatin’, I’m just sayin’.

While it was totally staged that the “Irishman” running the lights did a little St. Patrick’s day lightshow for us (who knows if there even IS an Irish guy running the lights?) I couldn’t help but woohoo for the St. Patrick’s day extravaganza. It is my second favorite holiday, after all. ūüôā

Before delivering our results, Ryan took to asking the judges a few key questions. Like…How does one keep from being “pitchy”? (BTW, “pitchy” as far as I know was a term coined in the Idol-verse) And Randy offered up this wise nugget: know the note. Well, duh! And these singers are not novices, I’m sure they KNOW THE NOTE. J. Lo helpfully interjected that sometimes the contestants can’t hear the band, which I felt was a more legitimate reason as to why sometimes the pitch is not all that it needs to be in any given performance. But I really think the key to staying on key and not drifting under or over the pitch is breath support. And to be honest, I’m kind of surprised that J. Lo didn’t say that. Also, it’s amazing to me that this is the first¬†time Ryan has seen fit to ask that question of the judges. But I digress…

Round 1

Casey, Jacob, and Lauren take center stage and to my extreme disappointment (sorry, Susi!) Jacob was sent to safety first. Lauren followed shortly after Ryan degraded the flu to the common cold. IT’S NOT A COLD, IT’S THE FLU, RYAN!¬†Casey is through. Of COURSE. How could he not be? All the other leprechans were sending luck his way on their¬†most magical holiday of the year.

Then Haley and Paul joined Ryan center stage and…Haley¬†was sent to the silver stools of rejection and Paul took his rightful place on the couch of safety. Called it! (Sorry, Mom!)

Lee DeWyze Performs¬†“Beautiful Like You”

I like that they still call it a “reigning American Idol”. Just like Miss America, but different.

I thought his performance was a little nasally but he looked cool and I liked the song. I kinda wonder what these returning American Idols think of the current group. There’s been so much press about how this crop of Idol contestants could run circles around last season’s songbirds and I wonder if those thoughts even entered Lee’s head?

It was sweet that Ryan called Lee one of the nicest guys they’d ever had on the show. I bet Kris Allen was the other one. Can’t wait for him to grace the Idol stage again!

Round 2

Scotty, Pia, James took the dreaded walk to hear their fate and I thought to myself that there was no way they all aren’t safe. But without the results show, we would have never seen James impersonating SteTy’s lips. And that was pretty great.

Stefano and Naima then had their turn¬†– Naima’s gotta be in the bottom 3, right? Yep.

And finally, Karen and Thia – I thought for sure Thia was a goner, but I’m so glad that she made the cut. I do think she kind of dodged a bullet though and should have been in Haley’s slot.

Additionally, I’m beginning to be on board with the Ryan and SteTy’s banter. Ryan making SteTy explain his wacky, wiley ways and SteTy not being used to having to answer to anyone. It’s fun without the put-on shenanigan-filled Ryan/Simon or Simon/Paula onscreen relationship.

Black-Eyed Peas Perform¬†“Just Can’t Get Enough”

Holy helmet hair, Batman. Wait a second, was that Fergie? If so, she really looks so different. Aren’t there supposed to be…well…Peas? Oh, there’s the other dude. The strings¬†were a nice touch. I think this will probably go through the cycle of all the other Black-Eyed Peas singles. I’ll hate it until I see a cool So You Think You Can Dance routine choreographed to it and then I’ll dig it.

And the Results Are…

Naima is safe?? I can’t beLEIVE it! I thought for sure she was leaving!

Karen is fighting for her life! I’M SO HAPPY! Whoa. That sounds cruel and heartless. Mom and I were trying to the read lips of the judges as she sang for her shot at the judge’s save. Turns out I’m not so good at it, but the body language clearly suggested that Randy and SteTy played the heavies and J. Lo was able to show her despair at being outvoted.

I like to think that¬†the reason Haley made it through was my 10 votes¬†on my Mom’s behalf. I think Haley has a cool and interesting voice and didn’t deserve to be in the bottom three, but she kind of has a PR problem. She hasn’t connected with the audience very much in her interviews and gives the air of confidence that¬†could be¬†perceived as arrogance. So, I think she could work on being more vulnerable and it could help her a lot.

Ryan began wiping away Karen’s¬†tears…there’s no Kleenex in the budget, AI? And after the judges revealed that they would, in fact, not be using their get out of jail free card for Karen, the closing credits rolled and the judges swarmed the stage for what I can only assume was the first ever judge counseling session of the season.

So, now we’re one step closer to crowning this year’s Miss America American Idol and I, for one, could not be more thrilled. And so,¬†I leave you with the best quote of the night.

¬†“As a kid, I aspired to be an astronaut. My brains weren’t…weren’t astronaut material, though.” – Scotty McCreery

Haddock out!


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