A Dose of Results

Was it just me or did this results show just feel like we were just goin’ through the motions? If Ryan had a thought bubble over his head (I think we can all be glad that those don’t really happen in real life, right?) I think it would say something like “Okay, here we are again. The viewers that we didn’t lose interest this season because the talent is a little lack-luster will be expecting their results given with some sort of drama and dim lights. I should probably appear somewhat enthusiastic about the guest performers. Plus, this is the night that the Shrek people are highlighting my cameo role that was probably only given to me because they could promote it on American Idol…”

Seriously, where’s the caffeined Ryan Seacrest when you really need him? Nevertheless, I’ll try to pull something worth saying out of this results show, but it’s gonna be darn hard.

Rascal Flatts performs “Unstoppable”

At first glance, I was a little concerned about Gary Lovex (lead singer) because it looked like he had a slug caught in his ear. I don’t know about you, but if I even SEE a spider, I think I have them crawling all over me all the live long day, so I can’t think of a worse fate to endure than having a slug in your ear and having to carry on performing. But don’t be alarmed…it turns out that the obnoxious green color actually belonged to his ear monitors which were actually much louder than his actual voice.  I felt like the vocals were mixed poorly…just under the volume level they needed to be at to be just above the band.   After the performance I noticed that he kept the slugs ear monitors in…maybe he felt that they went with his outfit?  The Rascal Flatts performance had its pitch problems, but I have to say this is the first televised live performance of the band where they haven’t been completely flat the entire song.

As far as inner ear bling goes, I have to say that I’d probably prefer something in a pink bedazzled variety, if anyone is taking notes. Christmas is only 8 months away, people!

BTS footage/Ford video

Maybe in your high school/college year book you have a “voted most likely to…” section. Maybe not. But if the American Idol Ford Commercials had a forum like that, I think the one voted most likely to be a vampire would be Siobhan. Don’t you think? Or maybe Lee…

Still, I work in publishing and the word on the street is that angels are the new vampires as far as fiction goes. Catch up, Ford people!

Screening of “Shrek Forever After”

Ryan Seacrest has a small role in Shrek and his way to intro that information to us was to tell us that he is “never one to turn down job”? That’s freaking awesome. But the best part of this whole promo was Cameron Diaz’s dress. And also, when did Antonio Banderes get old?

Results: Take 1

Unlike results shows past, Ryan kindly took a few minutes to explain the method to his madness – there will be (not surprisingly) three groups of two. As I break it down, just for fun, I’ll judge their appearance, too. ‘Cause what these people need in their life is more judging.

Group 1:

Siobhan Magnus – Oh. Em. Gosh. I love her hair tonight!

Lee Dewyse – Who knew there were so many tattoos under those gray jackets that he wears each week? He’s so cute I totally want to put him in my pocket.

Group 2:

Aaron Kelly – Tonight Aaron Kelly’s stylist finally found the “cool” section of the wardrobe department. He looked hip and happening!

Crystal Bowersox – What can I say? I think she’s incredibly talented but her teeth freak me out.

Group 3:

Big Mike – Looks like Big Mike raided Randy Jackson’s closet and decided to sport a Bill Cosby-type sweater. I guess more power to him?

Casey James – Did his hair look blonder tonight than nights past? Maybe he’s using a new conditioner.

Just when we all thought we knew what was going on, Ryan decided to switch things up crazy-style and walk Siobhan over next to Casey James and Big Mike. Ryan. This is not the agreement. The plan was three groups of two. I need some sort of a flow chart to keep up with the guy!

Nevertheless, we learn that Crystal,  Aaron and Lee are safe. Two out of three ain’t bad. Plus, next week Harry Connick, Jr. will be the mentor and the Idoloonies will be singing the songs of the great Frank Sinatra? Things are finally turning around.

Sons of Silvia perform “Love Left to Lose”

Carrie Underwood introduced this group and declared herself a big fan. After listening to them, I really wished I could have heard Carrie sing instead. Not that I hated their sound or anything but two things detracted me from liking their performance:

1.  At the beginning, I could not understand a single thing that the boy with the carefully mussed hair sang. Something about shoes? He looked really angry about something, though, and I was a little concerned because it seemed like he was taking it out on his violin. Also, the dude with the mandolin (?) looked like he was drugged or something.

2.  While I couldn’t understand the beginning at all, I certainly didn’t have to google the lyrics of the rest of the song. All they did was repeat “Oh, whatcha waitin’ for one more step and you’re out that door. Oh, whatcha waitin’ for. All we’ve got is love left to lose.” Over. And over. And over. And over. And over. And we know how much I love repeated lyrics ahemBlackEyedPeasahem.

Lady Antebellum – Need You Now

Not much to say here – they were good live. The only two things that caused me confusion:

  • I couldn’t figure out where the third voice was. All three people were singing but I only hear two-part harmony? Maybe all that listening to my music in my car with the volume turned way up has messed with my ears.
  • Why was the dude putting his hand in front of his face at the end of the song? Maybe he was just overcome with the emotional lyrics of “I’m a little drunk and I need you now”? Who knows.

Rascal Flatts with Shakira – “Gypsy”

Ryan brought us back from the break by saying “Thank you for chosing Idol.” which made ME look around for a flight attendant and try to move my seat and tray table to its original upright and locked position.

I didn’t really like this performance. Shakira’s voice wigs me out and I was only so distracted by her waving her brightly colored peasant skirt around like a three-year old. Also, I don’t think it’s much of a surprise to anyone that Shakira is a gypsy? And what is songwriting coming to these days? Singing “I’m a gypsy” over and over? We get it, already.

Results: Take 2

Big Mike and his big ‘ole sweater are deemed safe and we are left to ponder an Idol-verse without either Siobhan or Casey. I’d rather have both of them than Aaron Kelly, but as it so happens my choices are limited in this particular case.

Results: Take 3

Ryan brings us back from the break and just like that (maybe trying to stay within the actual Idol time slot?), Ryan announces that Siobhan Magnus is leaving. I have to say, I’m disappointed…not necessarily that she’s leaving, but that she didn’t live up to the potential that we all saw in those first few weeks. Now there’s only one girl left in the running for the Idol crown…but I think I’m okay with that. If I can’t have Katelyn Epperly, I’m okay with losing Siobhan.  

Only 5 contestants next week! Who do you think will be in the top 2? I don’t know by my bet is that it will be CRYSTAL clear once we get down to onLEE three. It appears that, unfortunately, Aaron may occupy a slot in the top 3. But if he does, I’m fairly certain that he will go the way of a one Danny Gokey.

Haddock out!

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