Ryan started us off with a statement that put a feeling of gnawing dread in the pit of my stomach. This results show will contain “big surprises”. Oh. Like the big surprise that everyone (with the exception of Crystal) this season falls in the “mediocre-I-couldn’t-stand-to-listen-to-their-performances-again-much-less-download-them-on-iTunes” camp? That’s not a big surprise, Ryan. That’s the reality we’ve been living with these long weeks. Catch up, man!
Still, the thought that Aaron, Katie and Tim would escape the chopping block another week put me in a bit of a tailspin that made me question myself and my status of a fan of this show. I actually thought to myself yesterday that I’d rather buy a CD from Didi, Katelyn or even Alex Lambert than I would almost anyone else that’s still “performing” each week. Does it sound like the gloves have come off? Well, they have. I’m just tired of the lack this season. I need excitement! I need risks! I need the best part of the night NOT to be that someone finally sang a full song in key or a random instrumentalists strolling down the stairs of stardom. WHO’S WITH ME??
Okay. Rant over. We all know that despite my big talk, the fact is that I’m going to tune in each week, so let’s just cut to the chase, shall we?
[Oh boy! Another group lip-synced performance!]
Section 1: In which Ryan activated the results…just like a power ranger.
Despite the fact that Kara comes to us in her sophomore year of Idol Judge-ness with much more coherent advice for the contestants and a creepy need for Simon’s approval, I take issue with her feedback: Coming from your heart is NOT all that matters. They have to be able to sing, too. C’mon, Kara. Get your head in the game!
Oh, Ryan and his tricky, tricky tricks. Siobhan and Crystal walk to the middle of the stage and Katie joined them for the results on Ryan’s card (supported by the teeny weeny table). Katie’s outfit was much improved tonight, but maybe a little “on the nose” since her shirt contained the lyrics of what she was singing just one night before. Siobhan and Katie look resolved to hear their fate but Crystal looked like she wants to cry it out.
With just the right amount of dramatic pause, Ryan finally delivers their fate: they are all safe. I was starting to think female singers were endangered on this show. Save the girls!
Jason Derulo’s Performance
My only exposure with Jason Derulo and his music to this point have been to notice that he works his name into every song I’ve heard. I think he thinks an awful lot of himself for someone who can’t sing on key. Also, I hope he doesn’t get carried away with this head tilts and impale his head on the spikes on his coat shoulder. I mean, he can definitely dance. Is it sooo much to ask that he can sing on key, too? Did my TV just fritz out, or was it supposed to look black and white and slow mo? Holy cow, the split was awesome!
Ryan brought us back to reality by stating that he’s worried that Casey James will want pyro in his performances now and Ryan’s worried about his hair going up in flames. Okay, that was funny.
David Archuleta Performs…Imagine. Yes, Again.
I miss his spiky hair. Are we putting the guest artists on the same “Idol Theme”? ‘Cause if that’s the case, Jason Derulo didn’t the memo. I don’t understand why Archie couldn’t have sung a different song. He has a whole freakin’ album, after all. Still, I’d take him over a lot of people standing across the stage.
I felt real bad for David, though, when Ryan unceremoniously turned his back on Archie and left him to awkwardly exit the stage. I guess that’s what happens when there’s no commercial break? On the plus side, though, Ryan called the “cue-the-lights-guy” by name. So that’s something. (Kieran. Maybe he was also the bagpipe player).
Section 2: In which Lee used the word “confidence” so much that it lost all meaning.
Ryan was really into groups tonight, so he separated the guys into two:
Group 1: Lee, Casey and Tim
Group 2: Big Mike, Aaron and Andrew.
One is our bottom three and it is Big Mike, Aaron Kelly and Andrew Garcia. I’m okay with that, actually, except for the fact that poor Aaron looked like he wanted to hurl. I still think its crazy that he was the best of the bottom, but I understand that Andrew hasn’t really been the strongest performer this season and I suppose it’s fair that he stands where he does. But does he have to look like he’s going to the prom at the same time?
As Rhianna proclaimed herself a rock star, alls I was thinking is that whoever told her to wear that leather/pleather/plastic body suit should be shoot. She’ll probably keel over any second. Plus, I think I’m done watching. Sorry, guys. I’m not going to subject myself to any more of the actual song.
Section 3: In which we (finally) discover our results.
Of course, Andrew Garcia saunters across the stage while the pitch-perfect Michael Lynche is set for dismissal. The worst part about the whole thing was watching his wife react. I found myself exhibiting more emotion than the night when I realized that the Top 12 would not contain several of my early favorites. That’s right, I cried. Do you want to make a case of it? 🙂 My thought was that if Didi Benami wasn’t worth the save, Big Mike wouldn’t be either but I’m glad I was wrong!
We all know what happens next week! Double elimination. Oh, the drama. And with Adam Lambert coaching these folks next week, we’ll at least get a little entertainment value from him.