There will be darkness and gnashing of teeth

Disclaimer: My heart’s not really in it this time, guys. I apologize if this recap is a shoddy shadow of recaps past, but I’m just not too excited about how this season is shaping up. Maybe some of you are with me? But, as they say in the “biz” the recap must go on. Or my heart must go on. Or something.

You know what I love? I love it when American Idol does promotional placement. It’s so obvious that I’m being marketed to that it makes me a little upset. Okay, so to be fair, the judges have to hydrate, so Vitamin Water and Coca-Cola make sense. iTunes is music, so it’s definitely related. But promoting ‘Clash of the Titans’ and suggestion for one single second that anyone on that stage was really a “titan” of music? They’re reaching. A lot. Maybe they thought that if they reached for the stars, they’d still be on top of the world?

Ruben Studdard Performs
Now, someone correct me if I’m wrong, but I’m thinking Ruben’s only gig is now the American Idol stage. Am I right? I’ve never heard his songs on the radio,  have you? Clay Aiken totally should have won season 2. I’m just sayin’. This song is so boring. Oh. Em. Gosh. Does Big Mike have a nappy wispy ponytail comin’ out of his hair? So. Ruben’s going on tour with Clay. Nothing like reunions, but I’m seriously wondering who is going to be paying for these tickets??

Ford Commercial
Oh, good! Another cross-promotional spot. Although, I have to say, this was one of my favorite Ford videos. That part where Big Mike bounced off the door of the Mustang was pretty funny.

Segment 1 Wherein Ryan bonds with the contestants & shamelessly plugs ‘Clash of the Titans’

Can we all agree that the contestants need to limit their time talking during these segments? You know how much I love them, but Simon’s right: “This is not the Oprah Winfrey Show.” The poor youngsters are already nervous, to place them on the spot to talk while waiting for their results? That borders on cruel and unusual and leads to major rambling. Can we also agree that Kara needs to limit her time talking in general? Especially when talking with or about Simon.

  • Seeing that little ponytail hair thing taped/glued to Big Mike made me smile, as did Big Mike’s response to Ryan asking what his wife thought of that (“She loves it.”)
  • Phew! Lee is safe, but that whole rambling speech about watching his performance back, etc. just made me feel awkward.
  • Gosh, I love Crystal’s hat. What’s with these people and their hats?
  • Well, at least Casey James is consistent in sporting the perma-smile. My mom thinks I was too hard on him this week and likes that he has a sunshine-y disposition that results in smiling during performances. While I don’t disagree, I think there’s something to be said for appropriate placement. I’m just sayin’.
  • No surprise here – Katie’s in the bottom three
  • And….after the break: Oh, boy! We’re going to see if Usher can sing and dance at the same time!

Usher Performs
Hmm. I don’t know if you can really call this singing per se. It’s more sing-song talking. He kinda sounds a little out of breath. Dude can DANCE. (Todrick should be at home taking notes). I’m not a big fan of the song in general, but gotta give Usha’ mad props for being an entertainer. And it was relatively in key, though, so Usher is progressing as an artist! Good for him.

Segment 2 Wherein Didi shoots herself in the foot, Ryan gets (almost) flipped by Big Mike and Kara insults Tim’s intelligence and Katie dodges a MAJOR bullet.
Okay, Didi. I feel your anger. I feel your negative energy. I feel you raging against the American Idol machine. America can feel it, too, and I just feel like it’s not the best time to show your true emotions. Stuff them, girl! I’m feeling a little nervous about this…

Now, I understand that the judges (in their infinite wisdom) have many useful comments to make. They’ve been in the industry, they know the ropes, they are Obi-wan’s to the contestant’s Luke. That being said, I don’t think they are saying things that can’t be comprehended. Sure, sometimes I don’t understand why they say the things they do, but it’s not like they’re speaking in Latin, people! So for Kara to insinuate that Tim is too dumb to understand what the judges say to him each week? That seems a little mean-spirited. Check it out, though, Tim knows how to work the crowd! His response was humble (“each time I perform on this stage is a once in a lifetime opportunity”) and seemed sincere (unlike his exaggerated, shoulder-shaking laughter last night) and left Kara with nothing to say (which is a feat of nature).

Some song is performed that I fast-forwarded
So sue me.

Segment 3 Wherein my DVR cut off the results (curses on running over time American Idol!)

WHY CAN AMERICAN IDOL NOT STICK TO THEIR TIMESLOT????!?!?!?!?!??! The show ran over and just as I sat stunned to realize that Didi was going home unless the judges saved her while Tim scurried to safety, my DVR-recorded show CUT OFF. Immediately, I searched the world-wide web for spoilers and learned that Didi was NOT saved by the judges and she was leaving.

Oh, people. I do not like how this season is going. So far we’ve lost the likes of Katelyn Epperly, Lilly Scott and Alex Lambert. Even Todrick Hall or Lacey Brown would have been an improvement over Tim Urban, Aaron Kelly and Katie Stevens. And now Didi is gone while these other lesser singers remain? It just seems like too much to take. I’m at a loss.

Sigh.

Okay, so now that one of the top two female vocalists is off the American Idol stage, who is your favorite? Sound off below while I try to regroup.

Haddock out!

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3 thoughts on “There will be darkness and gnashing of teeth

  1. Sarah says:

    I agree with you! Each week I think, “oh good they are getting rid of the people who stink!” But every dumb week they save them! The Zimmers believe that pre-teens, or weanie-teens as we like to call them, should not be allowed to vote!

  2. Brooke Hamilton says:

    Yeah, Amy, way to be downtrodden but find it in you to trod all over Kara. You have given me something to be happy about since I can NOT be happy about this tragic turn of events. And I can’t even cast a vote–its not like the season with Daughtery when I thought I might die if I didn’t see him another week. I guess it would be Lee then Casey then Crystal and Siobhan.

  3. mom says:

    Yeah,
    Tough one for Didi….what an original voice and it is America’s loss……..
    I loved the online voting…..so professional!!!!!!!!!
    Love you way too much,
    Mom

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