11 Singers Singing

So, as I write this there is a crazy, manic snowstorm swirling outside. Gotta love Colorado and the schizophrenic weather, eh?

But as they say in the biz, the show must go on, right? Although, I feel like our dear host thought it was a different show altogether when his floating head dominated the screen behind the top 11Wizard of Oz-style. After descending the staircase of stardom, Ry-Ry took us quickly from the dramatic monologue to the Lacey Brown memorial photo screen and then let the Miley Cyrus introduction tape role. Sure, she’s only 17, but AGE DOESN’T MATTER! Or so they tried to convince us throughout the course of the 2 hour show. Um, try telling that to the Denny’s hostess when I tried to get the Senior citizen discount.

For the life of me, I don’t understand why Miley Cyrus when there are so many other people with more experience in the industry and that are, well, older. Sure, she’s got a blazing hot career but so did ‘NSYNC and just look at where they are now! Are we seriously at the bottom of the barrel so soon in the season? (Full disclosure: I actually do have “Party in the USA” on my iPod. Feel free to stone me later.)

Somehow, even given my love and extreme dedication to this show, I had forgotten that only the top 10 make it on the summer tour. You know who didn’t forget? Ryan. And Simon. And Randy. And multiple contestants that mentioned it. WE GET IT. Sheesh. I guess it was at this point that the producers cued the “vote for your favorite, you can’t assume they are safe” speech that we get each season since the Daughtry debacle occurred. Okay. We get that, too. I’m not new, people.

After starting my petition to have the judges actually act like normal people and not pretend to have rivalries that don’t exist (okay, so Ryan definitely added fuel to the fire there), we finally got down to the reason we were all tuning in: to see if Paige Miles would finally doom herself in a performance so awful that Simon would stop saying that she’s the most amazing thing since sliced bread.

Lee Dewyse – “The Letter” by The Box Tops
Sage wisdom from Miley Cyrus: Lee needs stage presence.
I liked this performance! Lee had sparkly eyes and a hint of a smile throughout the song and appeared to be having (gasp!) a good time on stage. Also, where can I get myself a “Vote for Lee” t-shirt? Anyone? Anyone? And Simon and I need to spend some one on one time so that I can tell him what true corniness is, ’cause that performance wasn’t nearly as corny as Tim Urban’s slide to home base across the stage. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

Paige Miles – “Against All Odds” by Phil Collins
Sage wisdom from Miley Cyrus: Don’t be pitchy
Now, before I turned on the DVR (the better for fast-forwarding commercials, my dear) recorded show, I got a call from my friend, Noelle, telling me that I would be very pleased with this performance. She knows me so well. 🙂

Let’s start out with a positive, if you would all allow me another Paula moment…her eyeshadow was really pretty. And also, I hold no ill will toward Paige as a person. I just take issue with her as an American Idol contestant/performer. That said…

Paige’s performance made me cringe. A lot. And it gave me second-hand embarrassment. Her pitch was all over the place –  like a balloon when you let out all the air and it flies around the room as if possessed by a demon. Just like that, actually. I feel like I could say a lot more, but I’m going to restrain myself. Except, I just have to say that audience was CRAZY! Why were they boo-ing a perfectly accurate critique by the judges? Let us only hope Simon’s words are prophetic.

Tim Urban – “Crazy Little Thing Called Love” by Queen
Sage wisdom from Miley Cyrus: Do something cool and different. (Amy’s note: This does not mean reggae, Tim. It also does not mean that you are in a baseball game.)
Dude, Miley! Tim’s personality has never been in question (at least not for me). I think his personality is really quite loveable. At this point in the American Idol show journey, no one is pretending that this is just a singing competition, right? Can we all agree that the person that wins American Idol must have a winning personality as well as vocal prowess? It’s the second part of this equation that Tim is missing, but I have to say that out of all his performances, this was by far my favorite. I thought he finally finished his phrases and appeared a little less awkward on stage.  And am I crazy or was Tim ON PITCH throughout his performance? O.M.GOSH.

Aaron Kelly – “Don’t Wanna Miss A Thing” by Aerosmith
Sage wisdom from Miley Cyrus: Aaron is apparently perfect as is.
Aaron met his hero…Miley Cyrus. I can’t fathom the moment where you stand in front of the person who originally sang your audition song and have that person say that you sang it well. It was a total Kodak moment in Miley and Aaron’s relationship. C’mon. They are totally MFEO.

Just for the record, when Ryan went to break and said that one person would be singing Janis Joplin and one person would be singing Aerosmith, I turned to my friend Katie and said “Whaddya want to bet that he [Aaron] sings the song from Armageddon?” Totally called it. After giving us the sickness disclaimer, Aaron took the stage and did a pretty admirable job given his laryngitis, though I have to say that he barely hung onto the pitch like a hook on an ornament grasping an evergreen branch.

Crystal Bowersox- “Bobby McGee” by Janis Joplin
Sage wisdom from Miley Cyrus: Crystal should sing more big notes
The beginning of all of Crystal’s songs kinda sound the same to me now, but boy, was that interlude rockin’! She really took it to town and proved why she’s been a front-runner all along. She’s starting to grow on me, even though I don’t think I’d ever buy her CD…her style just isn’t my cup ‘o tea. But hey! She has big plans for next week. Maybe she’ll do hip hop and beatboxing. I do think that I have to relinquish my Nancy Drew Fan Club ID card…I totally didn’t see the carpet under Crystal’s feet! But I do like that she puts her homey touch on the stage. And I want to know where the American Idol staging people got that rug! It’s cute.

Michael “Big Mike” Lynche – “When a Man Loves a Woman” by Marvin Gaye
Sage wisdom from Miley: Nuthin’ bad to say except a conversation about Big Mike’s creepy extreme eye contact.
Let’s take a quick moment to review a few of Big Mike’s song choices up ’til now. A Woman’s Work, It’s a Man’s World, When a Man Loves a Woman…he’s very gender conscious, wouldn’t you say? Someone get Big Mike a time warp STAT! He needs to join us in 2010 and stop pretending to Frank Sinatra. Kara was right: his performance was as lounge-y as a Lazy Boy. He sang the song well, but I’m going to need a little something else from him. To me, he’s just blah.

Andrew Garcia – “Heard It Through the Grapevine” by Marvin Gaye
Sage wisdom by Miley Cyrus – Put down the guitar and learn your words
I actually really disagreed with the judges on this one – this was my favorite performances of Andrew’s since the infamous song that shall not be named. I do take issue with the fact that he was waving his arms around and awkwardly pacing back and forth across the stage as if he was awaiting the birth of his first child. But, his performance wasn’t flat and he definitely showcased the cool tone of his voice. Finally.

Katie Stevens – “Big Girls Don’t Cry” by Fergie
Sage wisdom from Miley – Edge it up
Good song choice by Katie, I think she carried it off fairly well. Here’s the deal, though, I feel like she needs a new wardrobe and hair cut to sing that song and Fergie’s tone was too similar to hers to make it really distinctive, even if she did make a few small changes to the song. I wonder when the judges are going to realize that she’s an old soul in a young body?

Casey James – “The Power of Love” by Huey Lewis and the News
Sage wisdom: Make eye contact with the crowd. It makes them feel special.
Man, I think his performance is the best of the night so far! He’s such a fantastic guitarist and controlled the stage much better this week. I felt like he put a little more effort into his performance and even though he didn’t make eye contact with me per se, I felt more special than after his half-hearted attempt from last week. My friend and co-watcher Katie agreed with Simon that the song was pretty identical to the original. I thought it sounded pretty current but I’m not super familiar with the song, so I suppose I waive my right to an opinion. Strongest vocal of the night in my thinking.

Didi Benami – “You’re No Good” by Carly Simon
Sage wisdom from Miley Cyrus: Even I get nervous, Didi. Don’t be nervous. Also, my age doesn’t matter. My critiques are awesome.
I think you all know how much I heart Didi. She’s phenomenal and definitely my favorite girl this season. However, I felt like this performance was much more forced than last week. Her vocals were cool and jive and I still love her to pieces, but I have to say that she cleverly camouflaged some pitch problems in her vocal tone that the judges called her out on. I’m totally on team Didi and her performance was definitely better than most, but it wasn’t her best. I’m looking forward to next week…

Siobhan Magnus – “Superstition” by Stevie Wonder
Miley Cyrus: Be yourself.
Siobhan totally comes out of her shell on stage…it’s like her supersize glasses hide a Superman that comes out when she performs. But just for the record, I’m not a fan of the scream notes. Ew. Dude, Ellen. If you’re going to quote something, quote it correctly it’s “Please, suh, I want s’more.”

One last thing and then we can all return to our regularly scheduled lives. Why is that whenever the contestants get bad critiques they always say they’re having fun with the song/performance? People, it’s not fun to lose. I’m just sayin’.

Happy Wednesday, everyone!

Haddock out!

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3 thoughts on “11 Singers Singing

  1. Noelle says:

    aaahhh, i feel all caught up now! i only saw about 1/2 the performances last night, so i couldn’t wait to read your post! i still can’t get over paige!

  2. Brooke Hamilton says:

    Amy, as self-appointed President of your AI Blog Fanclub I actually considered firing you when you didn’t post after the results show. I know, a bit harsh, but I think I checked my computer about 50 times that day (does that make me a huge loser?) I didn’t even watch the show, just checked the end to see who was gone, but I NEEDED to know what you thought. Now, I know that you were on vacation and that your parents were visiting and that you were celebrating a birthday yada yada yada; but what are we paying you for? Okay, I know the benefits stink–NO VACATION, pay comes in the form of people’s comments but are you doing this for compensation or for the love of the job? I need the assurance that when I mosey out to my computer around 10 AM on Wednesday and Thursday that there will be this awesome, witty thing to read that will sum up my thoughts exactly.

    P.S. I could do with a little more Kara bashing. She looks like a bobblehead always agreeing with herself and every point that she is making.

  3. Susan says:

    Haddock – since you have it on your iPod, might as well watch it in ASL: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QmKnQjBf8wM (okay, okay, this is the second one I’ve sent you and last I checked neither one of us were very fluent in ASL, but I can’t help but give this guy mad props).

    As always, your summary was entertaining and way more enjoyable to read than actually watching the show. And can I just say that this is the first time you’ve posted a mostly-full-body pic of Big Mike. I had no idea he was so, well… BIG! Wow – I guess he earned that nickname!!

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