Search Engine – Yep, It’s Optimized

So, I google things all the time. I don’t think I’m alone, right? Search engines, to me, are the most incomprehensible invention ever. The world wide web? Forget about it – I have no concept of how it even works.

I do remember first discovering search engines in college. My friend Megan sent me to to research a paper and my life was never the same. Seriously? Oh, you better believe it’s still out there doing it’s darndest to compete with yahoo and google.

 Well, if you like to read, I’ve got a blog post in the works that will change your life, but since it’s taking me forever to finish it (mostly I’ve been using my creative juices to embroider lately), I thought I’d share some of the most random things people type into search engines (maybe even to find my blog.

  • Lawn mowers with bags – 17 views

People are, apparently, really interested in what I have to offer on the lawn mowing front. I can understand that, being a veritable expert on the subject (*looking around wildly for lightning to strike me down dead). In actuality, Liz is the one that rocks the mowing at our house, I’ve only done it that one time. And yes, I know I’m a terrible roommate. My intentions have been good and my actions will back it up soon!!

  • Marble architechture detail – 13 views

Lots of people out there are aspiring Michaelangelos. This, if nothing else, backs it up. I’m certain that these viewers did not depart my blog disappointed because of my million gazillion D.C. pictures that they could use for inspiration on their own marble projects sitting under canvas in their living rooms. Yes, Mom and Dad, I did take too many pictures. But see how it paid off??

  • Holocaust tiles – 11 views

I was fascinated by these tiles when I was at the Holocaust museum in Washington D.C., too, so I can understand the desire to learn more about them. Part of the fascination for me is the reason why this was the ONLY thing I could take a picture of throughout the whole experience.

  • Frozen Fruits – 5 views

Frozen fruits? Really? Where did I even MENTION that in any of my blogs? I don’t know, but these 5 people do. And I hope they’re better because of it.

  • Super Duper – 4 views

I don’t get this one. Who is googling this phrase? Are there seriously people that need clarification on what this means? C’mon now!

  • Where have all the cowboys gone meaning – 3 views

Sorry, guys. You were probably looking for the lyrics and meaning to the song and not a diatribe on how I don’t prefer cowboys. Please accept my apologies.

  • Girl mouth – 3 views

I don’t even know where to begin on this. Insert your own caption here.

  • Allergic to carmex – 2 views

It’s so nice to know I’m not alone in the world. Two possibilities come to mind. 1 – people are searching out how to deal with their own allergic reaction to carmex or 2 – people are searching for this in order to poke fun. For your sakes, 2 viewers, I hope its the first option…

  • Where do they sell clackers in Colorado – 2 views

Clackers? Are you sure you don’t mean CRACKERS? ‘Cause I bought a new box of Zesta crackers a few weeks ago for cheap. They go great with soup.

So there you have it, ACA readers. Enjoy your Wednesday!


3 thoughts on “Search Engine – Yep, It’s Optimized

  1. mom says:

    Hilarious as usual!! Quite fascinating, really.
    Love you way too much,

    P.S. I was disappointed there wasn’t a mention of the Paula Abdul incident…..

  2. Dad says:


    Don’t know HOW you do it! You rival Seinfeld girl! He had a show about nothing and made it funny and now, you have a blog post about…well you know…

    BTW…I can think of 2 types of “Clackers”. One are the dorky looking steel toe attachments that visitors to coal mines (and I’m sure industrial facilities) that require all who visit to cover their tennis shoes with steel toe coverage. These mostly come in the color of orange and have a lovely rubberband thingy (in your type of words) that holds them on the back of your shoe. The other type…well those are an old toy…visualize a circle larger than a wedding ring with 2 shoe laces tied in the circle. Then attach a large marble on each opposite end of the shoe lace. You can then pull up and push down, in a rhythm, and make them clack. What I’m taking too long to say…is some old duffer out there (like your dad) was probably looking for this toy and ended up on the finest Blog on the World, Wide, Web.

    In case you’re like your niece and are interested in EVERYTHING…you can learn more about the World Wide Web at “How Stuff Works” at: (among other topics of course)


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