…I found a spider in my bathroom sink. I was incredibly calm about the whole thing (if I do say myself), and had a little chat with said spider. Granted, it was one-sided, but that’s all you can expect out of an arachnid.
“Mr. Spider,” I said. “Thank you for making it so easy for me to dispose of you.”
And with that, I smushed him with a piece of toilet paper and rinsed Mr. Spider down the drain. I guess that’s the difference between me and Miss Muffet.